4+ Frustration Overload

Preparing for the 4+ is not an easy process. It’s not for everybody.

Many of the parents I speak to would never become our clients. You see, many parents want it to be easy. Well — it isn’t. And those parents who want it to be easy, do you know what they will most likely do? They will probably choose to send their children to overpriced nurseries or pre-preps and hand over the job of 4+ assessment preparation to the teachers at those schools.

Do you know how that usually works out? Not well. Many parents tell us that they do not want online support and insist they need in-person support. They give all kinds of reasons why in-person is supposedly superior to what we offer at CMT. It’s not, by the way. Ultimately, the reason they want in-person support is so that they can drop their child off and go — or so someone can come into their home and they can just leave their child with them. Of course, you can choose to do whatever you want — but success requires more than convenience.

Like anything in life, if you want success, you have to be willing to put in the work yourself. Not someone else. If you’ve ever achieved anything meaningful, you already know this.

I like to think of the 4+ assessment preparation process as a 50/50 journey. Myself and my clients will feel great 50% of the time, and 50% of the time it will feel hard — and we will, of course, experience negative emotions.

The key is to allow those negative emotions and frustrations to exist — and continue anyway. Invite frustration to move in with you for the duration of the 4+ assessment process.

There will be times when your child doesn’t want to do the learning, is sick, is not in the mood, would prefer to do anything else, or will make excuses. There will be times when you have to work more than usual, do more housework than usual, host guests, go on holiday, or get sick yourself. During these times, it’s easy to get frustrated, throw your hands up, and quit. Many of my clients have done this in the past, and some will continue to do this.

It’s about embracing the frustration and doing it anyway. Showing up every single day for your child and learning with them — even if it is just for five minutes a day.

My recommendation is 3.5 hours per week, split up however you wish. Don’t get frustrated and quit. Get frustrated, and use it as motivation to carry on.

Book your sample lesson and sample week today.

Jennifer and her 4+ success to 6 top schools including Westminster and NLCS.

Jennifer is a 34-year-old lawyer from London. She contacted me when her daughter was 18 months old. When we initially spoke, she had no idea about the 4+ assessments and was very emotional about it. She told me that Aurora would most likely be her only child, and all she wanted was the best of the best for her.

Jennifer was very passionate about her daughter receiving the best possible education. Having struggled a lot herself, she wanted Aurora to avoid some of the challenges she had faced. Jennifer had not gone to top schools, did not achieve the best GCSEs and A-levels, and did not get into her university of choice. She had to work extremely hard to achieve the results she did at university.

Now a very successful lawyer, Jennifer told me that what she truly wanted was to help her daughter succeed.

We got started straight away, and Aurora began on my Emerald Curriculum. At first, Aurora was too young to meet with me weekly, so Jennifer and I met weekly on Zoom. Each week, we went through the seven areas of learning in the EYFS curriculum. Jennifer would update me on how her daughter was progressing, and we would discuss tips and strategies to accelerate her learning. We continued this weekly for six months.

At age two, Aurora began meeting with me weekly. She did incredibly well. She struggled a little with phonics, but Jennifer persevered, and by the age of three, Aurora knew all of her single sounds perfectly. We were already moving on to digraphs and blending. Her maths skills were exceptional, and we covered a broad and robust maths curriculum. Her communication and language skills were outstanding. We worked on this beautifully together throughout her time preparing for her 4+. Her fine motor skills also developed remarkably.

Was it easy?

No, of course not.

But we persevered, and Aurora was accepted into six top schools, including Westminster, NLCS, and Glendower. She was not successful with Highgate and Falkner.

Jennifer has chosen Westminster, and Aurora will be starting there in September 2026! Aurora continues to meet with me weekly, and I hope she will do so for the foreseeable future. She is a delight to teach!

This is just one of hundreds of success stories from last year.

Want the level of support Jennifer received? Book your sample lesson and sample week today.

The frantic squirrel.

The Frantic Squirrel

I was walking through the woods with my son the other day when we saw a squirrel. We stopped and were mesmerised by it. He was running from left to right, climbing quickly up the tree and then back down. He would then go left to right again and repeat it all over. He seemed completely frantic.

That’s how some of our clients present themselves when they initially speak with us.

They seem frantic and, quite honestly, all over the place.

They are running from left to right, speaking to as many parents as they can to gather information about the 4+ assessments. They are running up and down, speaking to countless teachers who “support” children with their 4+ assessments. They are going from left to right, looking at this school and that school. They are running up and down frantically, looking at school league tables and feeling completely and utterly confused.

They simply have no clarity about the schools they want for their children. And they have no idea where to even begin when it comes to preparing them for these 4+ assessments. They have people telling them not to prepare their children. They have others telling them that they must prepare them. They have people saying their children passed with no preparation. They have others saying they prepared their child from birth!

You do not need to feel this way.

Frantic energy will not support your child. Most likely, it will make them feel frantic too. What you need is calm and clarity. What you need is a clear path — one that leads you towards your child’s 4+ assessments, supports you in choosing the best schools for them, and helps you prepare your child to have the highest possible chances of success.

That’s exactly what we do every single day here at CMT.

Book your sample lesson and sample week today.

COMMIT to achieving the long term results.

I’ve been in this business so long that I can predict what most of my clients will do next.

Preparing for the 4+ is a highly complex process,

You see, we are talking about 3 year olds. Children who are still very, very young. We are talking about the most precious people in our lives. The ones we love so much and ultimately only want what is best for them.

I’ve been speaking to a lot of my clients about other ‘tutors’ out there who ‘prepare’ children for their 4+ assessment and I now finally understand why there is so much cynicism. The stories that I am hearing are quite frankly unbelievable.

It’s normal to doubt something when you first start it. It’s normal to want to make sure that you are investing your hard earned money on something which will get you the results that you want.

The long term result for some of our clients is to have choices. They want to be in the position to have so many 4+ offers that they struggle to decide which school they truly want for their children. For some of our clients the long term result is to build a lifelong love of learning that goes beyond any 4+ assessment. Whatever your long term results may be, COMMIT to achieving them.

It can be easy to give up and quit. It feels good in the moment. But giving up won’t get you the long term results that you’re after. Giving up will just stall you. It will also stall your child.

And what a shame?

COMMIT to achieving the long term results you are after and let’s go all in together to help your child to get into the dream school of your choice.

Last few spaces remaining before we close our 1:1 programme for this year and move to offering the Curriculum Only option (The Ultimate Emerald Curriculum). Book your Sample Lesson and Sample Week today.

Are you really ready for Ken Prep?

Last year, we prepared two girls for Kensington Prep and they both were offered a place. Of course, this was just one of several schools they were preparing for. Both girls we supported for Kensington Prep had over 12 months of assessment preparation. Both were offered places at other top schools, including NLCS, Glendower, and Westminster.

The main point of entry to Kensington Prep is the 4+. So, if this is the school you would like for your daughter, you should aim to prepare her to be more than ready — ready to go in, shine, and ultimately be offered a place.

Occasional places do arise, but they are incredibly rare. You can apply for these via the school’s website. However, as soon as you apply for an occasional place, preparation should begin immediately. What do most families do? They wait until the place becomes available and then start preparing their daughters. By that point, it is often too late.

Typically, schools give just 2–4 weeks’ notice for an occasional place assessment. You do not prepare properly for an occasional place assessment — any occasional place assessment — in 2–4 weeks. Have I seen success in that timeframe? Yes, of course. But it creates unnecessary pressure and significantly more work for everyone involved.

You can register your daughter from birth.

At the time of writing this blog, the website has not yet been updated for 2027 entry.

The 4+ assessments for Kensington Prep will take place in January 2027 (for 2027 entry). We are already preparing several girls for this assessment.

The school states that they are not “looking for girls who have mastered algebra.” I assume this is a dig at parents and teachers who prepare their children for this assessment. Smile, nod, and continue preparing your daughter. They also write: “Offers are based on an assessment of your daughter’s academic potential, ability and attitude,” and, “We are looking for girls — no matter their personality, introvert or extrovert — who are alert, curious, and enthusiastic about learning.”

You must prepare for all of that.

Siblings do not receive automatic entry and I am aware of siblings who have not passed this 4+ assessment.

With fees approaching £30,000 per year from Reception to Year 2, I would suggest investing a small proportion of that amount in ensuring your daughter is thoroughly prepared and has the strongest possible chance of success in this 4+ assessment. And if you choose not to, that decision is, of course, yours.

Book your Sample Lesson and Sample Week today.

Is X a 'good' school?

This is a question that I get asked every single day.

I’m asked this question by my own dear clients. I’m asked it by parents who call to speak with me. My Executive Consultants are also asked this question daily.

It seems like an innocent question. It seems like a very simple question.

To me, it shows incredible vulnerability and courage.

I found myself asking this question unintentionally when I was considering a prep school for my own son. I was frantically messaging a former head of a prep school, asking for her “advice.” When she ignored my question, I knew instantly that she wasn’t ignoring me — she simply would never be able to answer that question for me. After asking it, I realised I didn’t need advice. I needed a hug.

You see, choosing a “good” school for our children feels incredibly important. And to the majority of you who follow me and read my work, I know it is important to you too.

But no one — hear me — no one can answer this question for you.

Instead, ask yourself:

What is a good school?

What does a school need in order for me to consider it good?

What do I value in a good school?

The answers will be different for all of us.

Here are my answers, if you’re interested.

What is a good school?
A good school will nurture and deeply care for my son as an individual.

What does a school need in order for me to consider it good?
It needs to be loving, caring, and nurturing.

What do I value in a good school?

• Excellent communication

• My son being happy every day — happy to go in and happy when I collect him

• Excellent pastoral care — knowing that if anything is wrong, he has someone who will listen and support him

Visiting a school is not enough to answer this question either. A visit shows you a snapshot in time. Will it show you the true day-to-day reality? No, it won’t.

I always tell my clients that they need to develop the ability to pivot. Develop the ability to expect that they may change their minds. What they value now may evolve — and that’s okay. It’s okay to choose one school and later decide to do something completely different.

Please stop asking this question and relying on other people’s opinions. Other people’s opinions are not your experience. They are simply reflections of what they have experienced.

Applying to Channing at 4+ does not guarantee entry.

Why do parents think this?

Is it because everyone they speak to tells them that their daughters passed? Not true by the way.

Is it because they don’t think Channing will be the first choice of most parents? Not true by the way. I speak to many parents frequently who tell me that Channing would be their first choice for their daughter.

Channing have 50 places available in Reception and they even write on their Website that ‘every place is competitively sought after.’ And it is.

Channing say that approx. 200 apply for 50 places. I believe it to be at least double this. They will over offer because of many parents this will not be their first choice. But for many it will be!

Class sizes are pretty large for a private school, in my opinion- with 24-25 girls in each class. I would personally want smaller class sizes - but that’s me!

I personally know several girls who were not offered a place at Channing this year (2026 entry) so do be careful what you believe.

Girls are not guaranteed a place at Channing. That’s why they have a 4+ Assessment!

So if you do wish for your daughter to go to this highly sought after school, prepare her.

Book your Sample Lesson and Sample Week today.

3 HUGE problems with the Westminster 4+ Assessment (2026 entry)

We worked with 14 clients last year preparing their children for their 4+ assessment at WM. It was an interesting experience.

Out of the 14 clients, 7 of these didn’t really take assessment preparation seriously (not with us anyway!). What they did after their time with CMT, I will obviously never know (unless they tell me)! They either started and stopped tuition or they had between 1-3 months of assessment prep.

I’ve obviously now changed my systems and clients commit to working with us for at least 2 months - which fyi is really not enough to prepare for Westminster,

You need 12 focussed months to prepare for this school and if you do not put in the work, don’t whine about not being offered a place.

Out of the 7 students 2 girls were prepared consistently by either myself or Emily and PASSED, 1 of the girls attended my one month success programme and PASSED. Out of the remaining 4, 3 children stopped and started tuition and had less than 3 months of 4+ assessment preparation. Those children did not pass the Westminster 4+ assessment. After writing this report, I heard back from one more client and her son was initially waitlisted and was then offered a place. So 4 of our students have been offered a place to study at Westminster for 2026 entry.

The girl who did the 1 month success programme and passed was obviously thoroughly prepared in the 12 months before her assessment.

Problem #1

Not taking the WM 4+ assessment seriously enough.

Which I find very strange. We are talking about Westminster here,

Problem #2

Not taking assessment prep seriously enough. So many of you thought it would be fine to just rock up to the school. For some of you it worked for round 1. It definitely 100% did not for round 2.

Problem #3

Not telling your children exactly what to expect in the 4+ assessment at Westminster.

HUGE mistake. Tell them exactly what to expect. Tell them exactly your expectations of them. And if you don’t know, work with teachers who do.

Book your Sample Lesson today. Last few sample lessons available for 2027 entry before we move completely to The Curriculum Only. Book today!

Are you just clutching at straws as you prepare your child for their 4+ assessments?

We all want what’s best for our precious children. But if you are completely new to the 4+ assessment process, you may not actually know what is best.

“Clutching at straws” means making a desperate, futile attempt to save oneself or resolve a situation by relying on flimsy, ineffective, or unlikely solutions. My team and I see this every single year — sadly. Parents make the strangest decisions when it comes to preparing their children for their 4+, and more often than not, it doesn’t end the way they hoped — as in, their children do not get into their target 4+ schools.

And it is so unnecessary.

The clients we work with are strong, powerful people in their careers and in their lives in general. And when it comes to their children, that is exactly how they want to feel — strong and powerful. Unfortunately, no one educates you from a young age about parenting in this way or about the futures you would like to help your children create. It is very hard to feel strong and powerful when you don’t truly understand something.

You do not need to clutch at straws.

What you need is a plan of action.

What you need is a bespoke, tailored curriculum prepared specifically and exclusively for your child.

What you need is to support your child every single day in preparing for the schools you are targeting.

What you need is to understand your target schools and what they are even looking for.

What you need is to know, historically, why children haven’t passed.

What you need is to know why, historically, children have passed.

What you need is to know exactly what is expected of your child in their 4+ assessments.

That is exactly how we support our clients through our bespoke curriculum programme each and every single day.

We have supported thousands of children over the last 15 years to be incredibly successful at top, elite schools across London and the UK.

Book your sample lesson and Sample Week today.

My honest thoughts about the Highgate 4+ Assessment (2026 entry)

We prepared eight children for their 4+ assessment at Highgate, and three of those eight children were offered a place.

Of course, the children we prepared for Highgate were also preparing for other top schools such as Westminster, NLCS, and Glendower, to name a few — and the majority were successful at several of their top school choices. But today, we are discussing Highgate.

You see, we have never previously prepared so many children for the 4+ at Highgate.

I’ve already shared my personal opinions about Round 1, so if you haven’t read that blog, do search for it.

Highgate has 60 places available for new students each year. My clients initially think that 60 places is a lot. Well, it isn’t. This year, they reportedly had 450 applicants (or so they say). Personally, I believe it was far more — but let’s go with that number. That’s roughly a 1:8 chance of passing the 4+ assessment at this school. Not easy, is it?

Following Round 1, this number is reduced to 180 candidates. At that stage, your child has roughly a 1 in 3 chance of being offered a place. Still not easy.

Siblings of pupils already at Highgate are always invited back for Round 2. If you think about it carefully, that’s a significant proportion. In fact, many of the children called back to Round 2 were siblings. Children of staff are also automatically invited to Round 2 — regardless of their level or ability. Read that again.

The stated criteria is that they assess “readiness for learning.” So is “readiness for learning” not taken into consideration for siblings or children of staff? Not according to their policy. Not in Round 1. In Round 2 they say it is.

Highgate states that in the second round, no preferential treatment is given to siblings and that they are assessed in the same way as all other children. However, the majority of children assessed this year who passed (as far as I can see) were siblings. Only one of the three students we supported to pass this assessment was a non-sibling.

I do respect Highgate’s honesty and transparency in its admissions policy. It is clear and direct. Parents know exactly what to expect after reading it.

Some of our brightest students did not pass this assessment following the first round (and a few following the second). Many of the students who did not pass Highgate 4+ were offered places at schools such as Westminster, The Hall, NLCS, Habs, Falkner House, and Glendower.

So, if you are preparing for Highgate, understand the numbers, understand the policy, and understand that you should never apply to just one school during the 4+ preparation process.

Lessons learnt from the UCS 4+ Assessment (2026 entry)

With only 32 places available, it really does surprise me how relaxed and laid-back parents are when it comes to UCS.

UCS is a very popular boys’ school located in Hampstead. Registration for the UCS 4+ assessment is open from birth. That should be a clear indication of just how popular this school is — and how challenging it can be to pass this 4+ assessment.

You have until 30th September 2026 to register your son for the UCS 4+ assessment for 2027 entry.

The registration fee is fairly steep at £180. You will definitely want to ensure that your son has been thoroughly prepared before sending him in for this 4+ assessment.

UCS invites every single candidate for assessment. Again, this should indicate the sheer number of boys who will be assessed.

UCS writes that “no preparation is needed for this playdate assessment.”

Listen carefully — preparation is 100% needed. It is 100% not a playdate.

Parents may get cross, angry and frustrated at me for saying this. “Why would the school say this then?”

I truly don’t have the time — or even the interest — in answering that question. You can choose to send your child prepared, or you can choose to send your child unprepared. That is, of course, entirely up to you.

With two rounds to prepare for, you need to understand that you are not sending your child in for a playdate. Reserve real playdates for people you know. Perhaps you spend £180 on playdates — I certainly do not.

Do you really think UCS simply wants to see your child playing? No, they do not. They may want to observe how your child plays — but there is far more to this 4+ assessment than that.

At nearly £30,000 per year for pre-prep fees, this is one of the more expensive private schools. I will never understand why parents choose not to invest a small fraction of that in preparing their sons to go in and demonstrate what the school is truly looking for in its prospective students.

UCS achieves excellent results for its leavers each year. This is why it is such a popular choice amongst our clients. The fact that it is also an all-through school makes it even more appealing.

Preparing for the 4+ at UCS for 2027 entry?

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No one talks about the negative 4+ results.

And this is one of the main reasons why 4+ assessment preparation can be so confusing for most parents.

Because most people talk about the positive results (i.e., their children getting into their target schools), many of you assume that it will be “easy” to pass a 4+ assessment. Many of you tend to believe that minimal preparation will be required. After all, “so-and-so’s son or daughter got into X elite school with minimal or no preparation!”

Be careful what you believe.

Nobody — let me repeat — nobody passes a 4+ assessment at a top elite school like Westminster, NLCS, South Hampstead, or Haberdashers (boys’ and girls’) without thorough preparation.

And if people tell you otherwise, just smile at them.

Let me tell you something. I’ve spoken to at least 50 parents in the last three months who have called me to tell me about their ‘negative’ results — as in, their children have not passed their 4+ assessments at their target schools.

Are they telling their friends and families about this? I doubt it.

We seem to hide negative results from others. And I get it. These are our precious children. A rejection for them feels like a rejection that we take extremely personally.

But you shouldn’t — not in this assessment process. A negative result is simply data. It is simply information, just like a positive result is simply data. If a child has not passed a 4+ assessment, it is not a reflection on them as a human being. It simply means that they were unable to go in and show the assessors what they were looking for. That is all.

So let’s talk more about the negative results to help new parents going through this process understand it better — to give them the knowledge they need to know that this 4+ assessment process is far from simple, far from straightforward.

It requires courage, trust, dedication, perseverance, and grit from our clients.

It requires the same from our students.

Negative results are all part of the game of 4+ assessment preparation. Embrace the negative and embrace the positive. But above all — prepare your children to go in and have the highest possible chance of passing.

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Do you even understand the Merchant Taylors' 4+ assessment?

It’s rather surprising the number of parents I speak to who tell me that they desperately want their sons to go to MTP at 4+. But when I ask them a simple question like this…

Do you know how many places are available at 4+?

Most of them do not.

Last year, I went to the MTP open day. It was absolutely full of parents. I would say that there were about 200 of us there that morning — and that was just one open day. They held several.

MTP typically has six places available at 4+. That’s because most of the places available go to boys who are already studying at MTP (in the nursery).

This year, three of our boys were offered a place at MTP — all of them after initially being placed on the waiting list. Only one of our boys accepted the place. The other two chose other schools that they had also been offered.

Three out of six were boys prepared by us.

We know how to prepare for this school at 4+ (and at 3+ and 7+!).

We understand the MTP 4+ assessment. Do you?

We know what the school expects from its boys. Do you?

We know that children won’t just go in and “play with other children.” Do you?

MTP says that they are looking for teachability and sociability — and they absolutely are. But what about the countless other things they are looking for?

If you don’t have full clarity on what these are, how can you ever expect to be successful in preparing your son to be offered a place at MTP?

MTP says that they are not looking to “find out what children know.” I have no clue what they mean by this. And it’s not my job to speculate — nor is it my business to. My job is to prepare my boys to go in and have the highest possible chance of being offered a place at MTP.

MTP says they are looking for boys with the potential to flourish in their learning environment. Yes, they are. But if you don’t truly understand what this means, how will you prepare your son to go in and demonstrate it?

We know the exact profile of the boy they are looking for at 4+. We know which boys will have a strong chance of passing the 4+ assessment. We support them every step of the way so that they go in and truly shine. We ensure they understand what assessors will be looking for — and how to demonstrate it confidently.

Our clients also receive our full support every single step of the way — which is not something many agencies out there offer.

If you are thinking about MTP for 4+ (2027 entry), now is the time to get started.

Book your Sample Lesson today.

Know exactly HOW to prepare your daughter to PASS the Habs' Girls' 4+ assessment.

Last year we prepared a total of 8 girls for their 4+ assessment at Habs’ Girls’ School. 5 passed.

All 5 girls had between 3-12 months of 4+ assessment preparation.

5/40 of the girls who will be starting at Habs this year in Reception were prepared by us!

Pretty exceptional - if I do say so myself!

Key dates for 2027 entry have yet to be updated on the Habs’ Girls’ Website but typically round 1 happens in mid December and round 2 happens mid January. So you have about 8-10 months to prepare your daughter for this assessment (factor in sickness and holidays).

The school ‘strongly recommends against’ tutoring! What’s wrong with tutoring? Oh dear…

I ‘strongly recommend’ you use your own brains and make your own decisions when it comes to your children and their assessment preparations. I certainly would NEVER send my 3 year old into an assessment without being thoroughly prepared.

My results show that 8 of our girls were tutored for this 4+ assessment and 5 of them were offered a place. You think what you would like about that then!

Having a sibling means very little and your daughter still needs to be at the level expected from the school. In fact, each year siblings at Habs (boys and girls) are not offered a place.

CMT have supported so many girls who are currently studying at Habs. Would they have passed without our support? Again, I’ll let you answer that for yourselves.

Preparing for 2027 entry and beyond?

Book your Sample lesson today or to secure your space, join our Waiting List. Once joined, I will personally be in touch to choose your preferred day/time for weekly lessons.

From Baby Cub to Cub to Lone Wolf - Part 3

Read Part 1 and 2 to learn about the Baby Cub and the Cub.

I believe we become lone wolves around the time we choose the A-levels we wish to study.

Again, without the correct guidance and support, it will be very difficult to choose the “best” A-levels.

I had no guidance, and I had no support.

My school held one meeting with each girl when we were choosing our A-levels. This meeting was 10 minutes long and with a teacher who knew nothing about us. As in — we didn’t even know who this teacher was. She asked us three generic questions and then, based on those questions, would tell us the A-levels that we “should study”!

How ridiculous!

What you study at university is so important in so many different ways.

But as a lone wolf, that’s exactly what I was — alone!

My mother simply wanted me to get a “job” and be “secure”! What a joke! She meant well, of course. She loves me more than anyone does in this whole world. But a “job” definitely does not mean security!

I went to university to study Italian. I loved languages, but truthfully I chose this degree because I thought it would be “easy.” Well, it wasn’t!

As a lone wolf, I went to UCS, Reading, and finally ended up at Goldsmiths studying for my PGCE.

I did enjoy university. It was my time of “freedom.” It was my time to test the boundaries, and I made some beautiful friends — who to this day are still my best friends.

I went on to become a teacher, and I worked in schools across the country for 15 years.

I was exceptional at my job, but I really struggled with my childhood traumas in schools.

I wanted to give all of my students the attention and support that I wasn’t given, and I quickly saw all of the limitations. It was simply not possible to give 22–33+ children all of the attention that I wanted to give them.

I fell pregnant at the age of 36, and the moment I found out I was pregnant, I handed in my notice.

That’s a different story for another time!

Now, as most of you know, I teach on a 1:1 basis, and I support hundreds of students each year to have the attention they deserve and to achieve the dreams they would like to achieve. I work closely with my clients to support them in helping their children feel nurtured and supported — and to not become a lone wolf so early on in life. There’s plenty of time to be a lone wolf later on!

From Baby Cub to Cub to Lone Wolf - Part 2

After completing my journey as a baby cub, I graduated to cub. I was no longer a baby. I was now 10 years old and moving on to secondary school.

The baby cub moves from a small pond into the big, bad woods. That was my experience anyway.

My mother chose the school that would take me — as in, the one that had spaces available. It wasn’t even super close to our home, to be honest, but that was the one she chose. I remember that I wanted to try to apply for Henrietta Barnett, but I was told that I wasn’t “smart enough”! I definitely was smart enough, but as a cub, I didn’t have that support, and it was easier to choose the path that was easier for my parents.

I went to a convent school — a school which was a seven-form entry, with 30 girls in each class. I remember the Year 7 classes being in the basement. We would spend our form times in that basement and then move to our other lessons (which, thankfully, were not in the basement!). I remember that bell so well. The bell would ring. We would get up almost immediately (control!) and move to our next lesson. I hated that bell. Moving around from class to class meant that you couldn’t really build a relationship with the teachers. They would see hundreds of different girls each day, and I was merely one of hundreds.

Again, the behaviour was awful in my school.

Teachers struggled with “controlling” a lot of the behaviour, and there was severe bullying going on too. This was just brushed under the carpet.

I was never asked — truly asked — how I felt about this secondary school. And when I was asked the ridiculous question, “How was your day?”, most of the time my mother was busy with the million things she had on her mind (survival).

As a cub, I didn’t have the guidance that I needed in order to even have a 1% chance of knowing what I wanted to do at 16.

I chose the “easiest” A-levels for me (I was, and still am, very talented with languages), so I chose those, and I chose English Literature. My GCSEs were good, but I know that they could have been exceptional. I know that I am an A* student — I just wasn’t given the tools to get there.

At home, my mother had her own things to deal with. My father died in a car accident when I was 11, and I now understand how hard it was for her. I didn’t then. I know she did the best that she could, given her situation and her circumstances.

But cubs need to be guided. A school alone cannot do that. And never, ever assume that a school alone can. That guidance comes from the home, regardless of which elite, top school you send your child to. Regardless of the hundreds of thousands of pounds that you choose to invest in your child’s education.

Read Part 3 to learn about the Lone Wolf.

From Baby Cub to Cub to Lone Wolf- Part 1

That’s how I think about my own learning journey as a child. And this is how I reflect upon my 3-year-old’s learning journey.

I’m fully aware that everyone has their own experiences when it comes to their learning journey (what I mean by this is from the age of 4 to the age of 18), but these are my views. Feel free to share yours in a respectful manner. Please note that as I talk, I am not placing judgment on anyone. I am merely expressing my thoughts and discussing my experiences.

The Baby Cub

As babies, we are fully reliant on others to take good care of us. Some of us have a father and a mother who care for us. Some of us do not. As babies, we are fully vulnerable and in need of love, nourishment, and support. That’s how I picture myself as a 5-year-old entering Year 1 (that is when I started my learning journey in the UK). Born in London but raised in Sicily for five years, that is when my parents decided to put me into a state primary school. It was the school convenient for them — nothing more, nothing less. I would say it was an okay school — definitely not the best and definitely not great. It was a school where I went to be looked after whilst my parents had to work.

I had one great teacher — Miss Brown. I remember her well. She is the only one I remember. She was sweet, always smiling, and she gave me tonnes of attention. The rest of my memories are filled with badly behaved children, and the teachers’ attention needed to be given to them. I was always a very quiet and shy little girl. But as I reflect now, as a 40-year-old woman, I realise I had to be that way. There was no other way. The other children were louder than me and chose not to behave well. They chose not to listen to the teachers or be kind and caring to either teachers or other children. I had to be quiet because I had no one at school who really paid that much attention to me. I did learn because I wanted to learn. I listened and I learned. The teaching was okay — not exceptional.

When I think about my son (who will be four in September), I know that I want my baby cub to have a far better experience (age 4–11). I want him to have a learning experience where he is fully nurtured and feels deeply cared for. As a teacher who has worked in schools across the country for 15 years, I know that this will be difficult for me to achieve. There is nothing wrong with schools at all — it’s far more complex than that. If you’ve been in the system, you will know what I mean. If you haven’t, then you won’t.

Read Part 2 to learn more about The Cub.

The Angry Habs' Boys' School phone call

I received an enquiry last week for 7+ assessment preparation.

This client contacted me with the intention of discussing 7+ assessment preparation.

This is not how the call went down.

The client began by asking a few questions about the 7+. Usual questions like when to start etc.

I answered her questions and then she told me about her son who had not passed the 4+ at Habs Boys’ School.

She told me that she had not prepared him.

When I asked her why, she got all sorts of shades of defensive with me.

Perhaps she heard my question as a judgement or perhaps she genuinely felt bad for sending her son into the Habs’ Boys’ School 4+ Assessment unprepared. I have no clue. The reason for me asking that question is because you 100% need to prepare for Habs boys - very carefully and well.

She got angry with me.

She told me that the school had told her not to prepare her boy and she listened. She asked me this…

‘Why would I not listen to the school, are you saying that they are not being truthful?’

That is absolutely NOT what I had said!

I had merely asked her WHY SHE HAD NOT PREPARED HER SON FOR THE HABS ASSESSMENT.

Listen up, you can listen to whatever you want in your 4+ Assessment preparation process - it really doesn’t bother me. But do not call me and get angry with me.

We prepared all 9 of our boys to go in and PASS the Habs’ Boys’ 4+ Assessment. 9/40 of the boys who passed were prepared by US. Hear me carefully. All 9 were very well prepared to a very high standard. They went in with the capacity and the capability to answer all of the questions that were asked and to do all of the activities that they were asked to do.

I get it - we are discussing our children here. And our choices are very important when it comes to our children. If things don’t go the way we planned, there really is no one to blame. It’s just a circumstance. Make changes so that your 7+ assessment preparation and chances for success go differently.

That is all.

Why over-helping isn't helpful to your child.

When I was little, I was way too ‘over helped’. What this means is that the teachers in my life helped me too much. Far too often they would just tell me the answer.

This is not good.

At all.

This is poor teaching masqueraded as good teaching. It is not good teaching at all.

If you over help a child aka do all the work for them then who are you really helping?

No one. Definitely not the child.

When I worked in primary schools across London, I would observe this sort of behaviour daily. I would work with teachers who would over help and I also worked with teachers who did not do this.

Interestingly, the teachers who over helped were the ones who were seen to be exceptional teachers. They would have the neatest books and the best displays. But when I would look at the books, I would see learning that was pretty much identical. Learning that was so carefully modelled by the teacher that there would be no way that the child would have done it by themselves.

How is this helpful?

Tell me!

I see it with a few of our students when they initially start working with us. They just want us to tell them the answer. Or they will simply say, ‘I don’t know’ and expect us to tell them the answer. We don’t do this. And it is often so confusing to them.

We will say things like:

‘You tell us!’

‘Have a go!’

‘It doesn’t matter if you get it wrong.’

‘Try!’

If your child is about to sit an assessment, the same thing applies. You telling them the answer or over helping them will not help them to be successful in the assessments. You will not be there! Will you?

It’s about finding the methods of helping and supporting your child but in a way that allows THEM to tell you the answers. That allows THEM to get things wrong and for that not to be a problem. That allows THEM to get things right and to know that they got things right by themselves. This is where true learning happens. Not when an adult simply gives the child an answer.

That is not their answer. That is YOUR answer. And no body cares about your answer. Do they?

Three Guildford High 4+ Errors

We have prepared hundreds of girls to be extremely successful in their 4+ Assessments at Guildford High. It is a very misunderstood school when it comes to the 4+.

Error #1

Believing that you do not need to prepare your daughter for this assessment.

I speak to many parents who truly believe that they do not need to prepare for GH at 4+ and I have no idea why they believe this. Where have the got this ridiculous notion from?

Of course you have to prepare your daughter for the 4+ at GH.

They tell me that GH themselves tell them not to prepare their children for this assessment. They tell me that GH do not want ‘tutored children’. They tell me that their assessments will be ‘relaxed’ and ‘low key’. So what?

Understand very clearly. If you are preparing your daughter for her 4+ assessment at GH, you must prepare her. It really doesn’t matter how you prepare her but you must prepare her. Sending her in completely unprepared and expecting her to pass is beyond ludicrous.

Error #2

Starting preparations far too late.

GH is the assessment that seems to creep up on us! One of the earliest 4+ assessments (usually mid October), you must start preparing your daughter at least from October of the year before.

GH has not one but two assessments (45 minutes each!). Your daughter will not just go in and have a play. It’s actually very clear on their website what they will be asking your daughter to do.

So have a look!

Your daughter will be expected to read and write!

Error #3

Believing that every single girl who applies will be offered a place.

I don’t have anything more to say about that apart from that is totally inaccurate information.

Is your daughter ready for her Readiness Assessment at Guildford High?

Book your Sample Lesson today and we will tell you!

Take 4+ assessment preparation seriously if you want to have serious results.