Merriam-Webster defines bullying as: "acts of written or spoken words intended to intimidate or harass a person or to cause physical harm to a person or his or her property.
The Collins English Dictionary defines it as "the repeated use of threats or violence in an attempt to harm or intimidate others
Bullying in schools is defined as repeated, intentional behaviour that causes physical or emotional harm, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power.
All quite complex definitions to wrap your heads around.
So let me give you mine.
My definition of bullying is any form of intimidation, annoyance and aggravation caused to a child who is trying to enjoy their school experience.
It does not need to happen multiple times. It can happen a few times. It can happen only once.
This used to really upset me up when I worked in schools in London (State and Private). Bullying was very black and white. There were no grey areas. It’s in the grey areas that bullying happens.
I’ve worked with children from Nursery through to Year 6. Before I qualified as a teacher I taught sixth form languages. I’ve seen bullying. I’ve witnessed bullying. I’ve had to deal with hundreds of cases of bullying.
I was also heavily bullied as a child.
Hard to admit but I was.
It’s also hard for the child being bullied to admit this.
We all want to have this fairytale school journey and when it’s not a fairytale, typically we try to hide it or pretend it’s not even happening.
Because I was so heavily bullied as a child (in both Primary and Secondary school), I have zero tolerance for it. It rarely happened in my classrooms and if it did, it was quickly nipped in the bud. Quicker than the said bully would have time to continue doing what he'/she were doing.
For teachers, bullying is a tricky one.
Bullying means taking time out of the timetable to educate students about not bullying.
Bullying means countless meetings with parents dealing with their concerns (rightly so!).
No one wants to hear that their child has been bullied at their school. No one.
And it makes my blood boil.
And if your child is experiencing bullying know this…
It is down to the school to support you and your child to ensure that the behaviour in the classroom is appropriately managed. Because that is what bullying comes down to. And I’m sorry if that offends any one. I do not care.
If there is bullying, it’s down to the behaviour in the classroom not being appropriately managed.
Children not understanding the behavioural expectations and little things being tolerated or even worse not even noticed by the class teachers/support staff/senior leaders.
So if your child is telling you about negative experiences happening to them, arrange to speak to the class teacher and the head teacher immediately and get this nipped in the bud straight away,
No child should be going to school and being afraid of being picked on, annoyed or harassed. No child.