Over supporting your child will not give you the results you imagine.
/I’ve taught at schools before where you would open children’s books and see the most immaculate, pristine learning. No mistakes just flawless. Senior Leadership would be delighted. I would not.
When I would ask the teachers if the work was independent or guided, they would tell me guided. Yet this was not written anywhere on the pages of pristine, immaculate learning.
When Senior Leaders would open my books, they would see a mixture of learning. Immaculate and pristine and raw. The raw learning was the learning where I would just leave my students to do their thing. This was the best type of learning in my eyes and it still is. This is the learning where I can truly see what my students can do and what they cannot do. This is the learning where I can make plans for how to support them better. But to them, this learning was ‘messy and unacceptable!’
One of the many reasons I left teaching!
In our lessons, we see this over supporting all the time. And it’s something we nip in the bud pretty quickly. I get it. But it’s not helpful. When I teach my students, I am only interested in their answers. Only theirs. We all want to support our children with their learning and we can. But we need to find the most effective way to do it.
Giving your child the answer is not helpful.
Telling them that they are ‘wrong’ is not helpful.
Telling them off when they get something ‘wrong’ is not helpful.
Getting frustrated and visibly showing them this frustration is not helpful.
Here is what you can do that will be incredibly helpful and will lead you to the results that you desire.
Let them be ‘wrong’. Say things like, ‘That’s ok, you tried your best now let’s try again. What else could the answer be?’
When your child gets something wrong, do not tell them that they are wrong. Let them figure it out for themselves.
See ‘failure’ as you see ‘success’. If my student doesn’t ‘fail’ multiple times in my lessons, my lessons are pitched incorrectly.
If your child gets upset or frustrated at getting something wrong, let them. Speak to them about it. Be curious about it. Do not tell them to stop it.
I want my students to be as delighted when they get something wrong as they are when they get something right.
A child getting something correct all the time could mean a multitude of things. Such as the lesson is simply far too easy for them or that the teacher is helping them far too much. Keep an eye on this.
We need to stop seeing failure as a negative. Without failure, none of us reading this blog would have had the success that we have had!
And keep in mind that many teachers out there see failure as a negative thing. I would stay as far away from these people as possible.
Support your child but do not over support your child. There is a subtle difference that will make a world of difference to your child’s future results.
