I expect the exact same behaviour from my son.

As a teacher working full time in schools across London I used to hear this comment all the time and I didn’t think much of it until I became a mother.

Parents would often say this to me…

‘He/she is completely different with you than she is at home!’

Then would come the long list of things their child didn’t do at home that they would do with me:

They don’t listen to me!

They shout!

They are disrespectful/rude/unkind etc

I would often simply reply something like …

‘Oh, that’s odd!’

Now when my clients or other parents tell me this, my answer is very different.

I will say something like…

‘Why do you accept that?’

And often this answer stops them in their tracks.

Why would you accept this?

I do not.

I see my son’s behaviour the minute he steps into nursery.

He becomes quieter, a little more reserved and timid and he listens to every single instruction (and follows it)!

Obviously with me and at home in general, he is more comfortable and he tests the boundaries more but my expectations of him are very clear.

He knows that I expect the exact same high level of focus, concentration and excellent behaviour that he demonstrates at nursery

Why should I expect any less?

Any why would some of you?

If your child doesn’t ‘behave’ the way you deem appropriate, that’s work for you to do.

To me it is unacceptable for my child to choose how he behaves with one human being compared to another.